I am not allergic to fish

I know you were worried. I was, too, after I ate a rarely-done tuna burger yesterday (a delicious, rarely-done tuna burger with wasabi aioli, natch) and noticed near the end of it that I was feeling a little flushed. Gee, I thought, next time I'll remember not to rush into finishing a giant tuna burger just because it's delicious and I have to get back to work. In general, I thought, a good reminder that I don't need to eat what's on my plate just because it's on my plate even if it's delicious.

Back at work, I run to the bathroom before returning to my desk and see that my cheeks have an unusually rosy glow, the kind I usually have to apply blush to get. Actually, on second look, my whole face looks a little red, and not even in the way that it does on the rare occasion that I do aerobic exercise. "Does my face look red?" I say to my co-worker on the way back to my desk. Her response indicates that it actually looks a bit purple and is freaking her out.

Mayhem ensues; I'm getting recommendations from everyone on the floor, I'm having to tell my brief tuna burger story repeatedly, assure people repeatedly that no, I have no other symptoms and no, I don't have any allergies, and purple? Really? Meanwhile, I can't tell anymore what's an "allergic reaction" and what's embarrassment. A nurse on staff recommends I go out for some Benadryl, which I do, and according to the instructions, take 2. "You took two?!" my boss asks when I give her the update. I nod. "You're going to be asleep in an hour." I am shocked to hear this. "Oh, I say, I guess I should have gotten non-drowsy...I just didn't see any on the shelf." "There is no non-drowsy Benadryl," she says. She is disappointed. Understandably - it's only three o'clock. And I am further embarrassed for not knowing this, and defeated, since I had evening plans I was looking forward to. Later I found out that the friend I'd been to lunch with who had the same thing, also got flush and, what's more, sick to her stomach, which is a fate I avoided.

So I went home early, slept for two hours, and was fine. I had read on the internet that there are some types of fish-related food-poisoning that mimic an allergic reaction, and I was clinging to this hope because there are certain things that getting older has brought to me that are unpleasant (needing more sleep, carpal tunnel) and I know there are more to come, but if seafood allergies was one of them, I would truly have a nervous breakdown.

GOOD NEWS! I am not, as you may have guessed from this post's title, allergic to seafood. How do I know? I just had sushi for dinner.